A Quest for Vocation (by Tim Pisacich)

Tim is a CoC alumnus from June 2009 and graduated from Providence College, RI in 2007. He served for one year as a Jesuit Volunteer in Bridgeport, CT and is currently teaching at an inner-city High School.

With one week left of my first year teaching in an inner city high school, I arrived at the 2009 Spring Catholics on Call conference too exhausted to sense God’s presence or even care about discernment. I had no idea to what extent I needed to talk with other young adult Catholics or desired a spiritual environment. Talking with others who also want to discern their vocation reminded me just how important and challenging discernment is. Without questioning how we can fulfill God’s will, we could easily become comfortable with a career and lifestyle that prevents us from knowing God. But asking these type of questions is challenging; we must set aside intentional time for conversation and prayer to keep from becoming so distracted we forget about discernment. Furthermore, once we genuinely open ourselves to God’s will, our future leaves our control and we become more vulnerable.

Like many young adults, I also have a mix of emotions over discernment. Because my future is unclear, I am excited that there are several possibilities to choose from but also feel a lack of direction from too many options. When my lack of direction is strongest, I am most tempted to continue my job as a high school teacher without prayerfully planning for the future. But remembering how God has provided for me in the past is one of the most powerful ways to continue asking these often difficult but vital questions.

Memories of how God abundantly provided when I was worried about becoming Catholic increase my faith. Before college, my understanding of Catholicism was limited to the media and my family, neither of which portrayed the Catholic faith in a positive or accurate light. However, as I learned more about Church teaching, began spiritual direction, and met young, enthusiastic Catholics, I began an unexpected encounter with Christ through the Catholic Church. When I started to discern entering the Catholic Church my sophomore year, I worried I would not find this attractive, strong, Catholic presence outside my college community. I also feared a decision to become Catholic would separate me from my family, especially my mom, who hoped I had already developed a strong faith from our family church.

My concerns were logical; however, I never could have predicted how God would provide what I need through the Church. My Catholic faith has given me peace and a sense of God’s presence I never expected. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I became Catholic, but I thank God I took that step of faith towards the baptismal font despite many unknowns. Thankfully, God’s graces and gift of faith were stronger than my fears of becoming Catholic.

As I now ask, what do you want from me, God? I am once again working towards something that will radically change and direct my life. Being in the middle of a big question makes it difficult to recognize God’s presence. In college, I did not know if I would become Catholic or not; now, I do not know what type of work and relationships will allow me to best live out God’s will. There are still significant unknowns as I work towards discerning my vocation, but remembering how God gave me what I needed in the past helps increase my faith and encourages me to keep searching.

Here’s what I do know about my vocation. I’m certain that it’s imperative to keep asking, what do you want from me, God? to keep from settling for a life that does not develop God given gifts. We need to realize the difference, for better or worse, we can make in the lives of those around us through daily interaction. Consider then how important it is to find what God is calling us to and put our energy into that. If small actions of charity can bring joy to a stranger, think how powerfully God can work through one person raising a child, teaching students, ministering to college students, or loving a spouse according to God’s will. I am more motivated to discern God’s plan for me when I recall how my spiritual director and campus ministers influenced my life. By developing their God-given gifts and doing their jobs well, these mentors changed my life and many other college students’ lives.

I’m writing this vocation story not to say here’s how I found my vocation. Instead, I hope it will be a source of encouragement to those still trying to find how they can change the world. When I left Catholics on Call, I still did not know what type of ministry I felt called to; but I was returning to Connecticut with something I had not come with: a strong sense of peace and excitement because I am on my way towards finding my vocation. Maybe one of the greatest lessons I learned from Catholics on Call is that we aren’t called to discern our vocation all by ourselves. I didn’t even realize how much I needed the community, advice, and conversations on discernment that I found in Chicago. I was so distracted and tired that without realizing it, I stopped asking the question, what do you want from me, God? But with the help of our brothers and sisters in Christ, our mentors and spiritual directors, and by remembering how God has provided in our time of need, I believe each of us can become vulnerable enough to authentically ask God, how can I change the world?

Tim Pisacich